The Modern Leader series: Listening pitfalls: What leaders get wrong

As The Grossman Group celebrates 25 years, Ragan is partnering with them to share the top attributes they see in modern leaders today.

Modern leadership attribute No.12: Listening pitfalls: What leaders get wrong

Leadership is a journey of continuous learning, and listening is perhaps the most challenging skill to master. Despite best intentions, many leaders unknowingly sabotage their own ability to genuinely hear their teams.

The four deadly listening sins

1. Listening to respond, not understand: Most leaders are already composing their response before the speaker finishes their first sentence. This isn’t listening — it’s waiting for a pause to insert your own agenda.

Research from multiple communication experts shows that this approach:

• Blocks genuine understanding.
• Makes employees feel devalued.
• Creates communication barriers.
• Reduces team psychological safety.

2. The expertise trap: Many high-achieving leaders believe their success stems from having all the answers. Ironically, this mindset is their greatest listening limitation.

True listening requires vulnerability. It means:

• Admitting you don’t know everything.
• Being curious about different perspectives.
• Valuing learning over being right.

3. Emotional filtering: Leaders often unconsciously filter feedback through their own emotional lens. A critique of a process becomes a personal attack. A suggestion feels like a challenge to authority.

This emotional defense mechanism:

• Prevents honest feedback.
• Creates organizational blind spots.
• Stifles innovation.
• Erodes trust.

4. The interruption syndrome: Watch most leadership meetings, and you’ll see a familiar pattern: constant interruption. Leaders jump in, complete sentences, redirect conversations and essentially communicate one message: “My time is more valuable than yours.”

The cost? You’re teaching others to be silent.

David Grossman addresses this and much more in his upcoming book, The Heart Work of Modern Leadership. Be the first to get access.

About The Modern Leader series

Discover actionable insights released biweekly, designed to help you elevate your own leadership impact and drive the business results you seek.

So, how do you know if you’re a modern leader?

Modern leaders stand apart through their ability to balance head and heart in today’s complex workplace, integrating emotional intelligence with strategic thinking.

New research with The Harris Poll (publishing Summer 2025) shows only 30% of leaders truly meet their teams’ evolving needs — but that elite group leads with “their heart IN their head” and consistently demonstrates six key differentiators.

They:

• Lead with gratitude.
• Listen and empathize.
• Foster an inclusive culture.
• Communicate with context.
• Connect strategy to employee growth.
• Enable employees to meet the moment.

To see additional ways you can differentiate yourself as a modern leader, check out the collection of modern leadership attributes (added bi-weekly) here.

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